i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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