I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
