sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
i think i have two assholes
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
