We named our party play list daddy issues
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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