People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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