Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
