So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Randomize
