dude i'm inner monologue high
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
