I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
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my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
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