hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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