Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
