there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
