Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Randomize
