When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.