On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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