Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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