I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
