GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
