I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i think i have two assholes
We need to rekindle our bromance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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