Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
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