I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
