if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
