So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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