Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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