Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
