Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Watching her eat just hurts me
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
