So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
