I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
