And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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