new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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