it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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