You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
