last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Randomize
