i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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