were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
