I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
