Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
