I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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