It's like a parade of train wrecks.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Randomize