why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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