He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Dear god my vagina.
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