Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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