Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
