so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Randomize
