At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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