Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
