So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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