question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
