My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
