i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
dude. I can hear the air.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
