Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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