So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
