Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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