He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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