I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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