woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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