I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Omg I joined a choir last night...
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
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