he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
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