Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize