You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
