You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Randomize
