Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
