he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
