Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
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Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
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You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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