You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
