you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
