Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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