Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
